Wow...it certainly has been awhile since I have posted. I think I may be a LJ epic fail. Same ol same in our world here..
Gabe has been loving 1st grade. He does a 10 week rotation of foreign languages, and is taking french right now. He started out with German, he loved that...hated Russian..so far likes french...he is gonna love Spanish. He is also trying out karate and his sister meg is jealous and wants to do it too..I didn't see that one coming.
Meg will be starting kindergarten in the fall...I can't believe it. i will cry in August about that. She is still doing the gymnastics thing, still tumbling really. Her and Gabriel fight and love each other like the Dickens.
Gil is well still Gil, lol
We have been playing in an awesome tour on rock band...he is an xbox junkie. He has been working out pretty regularly, and may be liking it...he would never admit that tho..
I feel like I have been doing pre-reqs for nursing school forever..i decided to do the part time work, part time school thing and I think that is why it seems like forever. Taking my time, saving money until next spring when the real grind happens. Decided to go to barnes school for nursing, figured I would let my job help with educating me.

So ...yea, Gil has decided to make an honest woman out of me after 5 lovely years, and proposed on xmas morn. Talk about the unexpected! He certainly shocked my pants off!
We want to elope, maybe to the Caribbean..his parents think that is a great idea. I haven't told mine yet..I fear the wrath.
i told him i only had 1 stipulation if we are eloping. I want the kids to go and are is get married. There was absolutely no arguement there! Woot
That's all the news I got...I miss everyone!
Social life has gone way down ever since I started working only fri & sat nights.
Studying, working out, and chillin with the fam all the other nights.
We have been playing DnD again...I really love that game b/c it Takes me out of my comfort zone.
Hope everyone is doing well!
Talk soon!

So last night I went to my first Capoeira class, it was real cool!
This is going to be quite interesting. The class is and hour and a half long, 2 times a week. There are 6 people in the class, and it was very comfortable. Erin, my partner, I already have a partner! is a cool chic!
It's quite an experience having to look in a strangers eyes and duck when they kick at you. :P And perform a cartwheel and never taking your eyes off of them.
Yes, I did a cartwheel, lol was surprised I even remembered how!

I am going to practice cartwheels in my backyard, wonder what the neighbors will think? The sad realization I had though is my abs need to be so much stronger, like almost solid.
I guess I have no choice but to make them that way :P

I already know that I won't ever be doing any flips or spirals in the air, but I used to be able to do a back flip, so I haven't scratched that idea yet. The instructor told us that once we become adults we acquire the fear of flipping, he was 25 when he started Capo and doesn't flip either. I told him how relieved I was to hear him say that. Makes sense.

I guess the good thing is even if I don't continue to do Capoeira, for the next 8 weeks I will be doing some hardcore moves and cardio.
Surprisingly, the class went by so quick, I was sweating from head to toe and at the end of it, I felt very energized and centered as I left.

Signing off, need to go to the gym and find me a 4 pack lol!!

Holy crap! Technology is nice!
This is a pic of me taken exactly 5 minutes ago, thanks to the timer feature on my camera.




I don't deny the fact that I look completely exhausted, as I have had 3 tests already this week. Much to my chagrin, I have 3 tests next week also. So, I am guessing catching up on sleep from last week is out of the question.

So now I have a few more minutes

this isn't the pic I wanted to put up, but it's good one to. Can't believe I am doing this tho.




I am on far left. Chose it because it gave me a side view of myself, this was April '07.
I am going to post the pic, that motivated me in the first place, which may be the most embarrassing pic of me ever, but, oh well.

This next one is the most recent one I have of me, even though it was taken 3 1/2 weeks ago.




I don't think I have changed much since then, but I did hit my 1st goal weight since then, so I want to put a new one of me up.

just need to take one of myself.....somehow

I have reached my first goal wait (there's only 2)
and this is usually where things fall apart and I get lazy or just lose motivation.
So in order for me to not lose my focus, LJ, is going to keep my accountable until I reach my second goal weight.
Which will probably be the hardest 20 pounds I have ever lost in my life.

Ugh I hate revealing my weight, lol, old thinking there :P

My first goal weight was 150
woot! there now, maybe a little under by now.
I have already said my goodbyes to the 35 pounds that have already left me this year.
yikes! yes I was at 185!
I have lost 6 % points in B.M.I.
2 more % points to go and I will be widely classified as "normal"
Bah.
Doesn't mean much.

2nd goal weight is 130.
I haven't been at 130 in over 6 years.
BF said that is to low, but I don't believe so.

My main focus right now my abs. They are getting stronger everyday that goes by, but I haven't really focused on them.
Ab work hurts dammit!!
It seems obliques are the easiest muscle to define, as I seem to be doing quite well. Its the middle abs that blow, upper and lower.
I decided that I will not blow off daily ab work.

I have an old pic I am going to put up, so I can use the visual to continue motivating myself and keeping my spirits up in how far I have come.

hmm 2 mins later....can't find the pic and my time is running out...
will do tonight

Did an experiment this morning and woke up at 5:30 and left to go to gym, went alright, even though I was cursing at myself in the car on the way there. (before coffee)

AH! gotta go!

So, I think I have realized the secret to my past failures at weight loss and reshaping my physical body.
I have never grown with the "new" body.
I have always gotten intimidated fitting into clothes that I haven't work in years...would quit working out and eventually gain back any weight I had lost.
Well the time has come that I fit into a pair of pants that I have never even worn, tags still on, I bought them 3 years ago. Yikes!
Well, I was put them on just to experiment and chart progress, and while I was looking front and back in the mirror, I thought, Wow, that looks nice.
A very tiny voice in my head said, 'now appreciate your new body".
Huh?
Got me thinking.

I haven't really stopped looked at my new shape and reflect on the progress. I know that it takes awhile to lose weight and see changes. I am fine with waiting, I have gotten some new habits and broke some old ones. I used to think, ok I have got to loose this much weight by this time and no later.
Hells bells, no wonder I always got frustrated and gave up, then put weight back on.
I never appreciated the new me that was forming.
I was always putting myself down.

My new habit is standing naked in front of the mirror, no laughing please, and just looking at myself.
No vanity.
No criticism.
Just looking and thinking positive thoughts.

Seems to be working :P

I am so stressed it's unbelievable, can't eat, can't sleep, can't do anything but study for all 5 of my classes. I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but I was expecting my boyfriend to be a tad more helpful.
Not blaring the music, and playing WoW right next to me, (ALL DAY) while the children run around the house screaming and playing.

I need a place to study, a quit place to study, even if it's in my bedroom with the door closed. I need a desk.
I know my mission this week.
Find a desk.
Make a study spot in my room.
Buy a dead bolt for my bedroom door.

Ah, feel better all ready.
Craigslist here I come!

Meg put on her new yellow, summer dress and out of the blue asked me , "Mommy, are we white?"
Gabriel said, "No Meg, we are peach."
"Oh. Ok"
Me: "Gabriel, a lot of people in the world call our skin color, white"
Gabriel: "oh no, that is mean, I don't want anyone to call me that."
Gabriel left to get shoes on

2 minutes later..
He said, "I get called Little White Boy at preschool sometimes, I don't like that."

And out of complete curiosity
I asked
"Gabriel what do you call the other boys and girls at your school that are not peach?"
Gabe: "What? Mom, I call them by their name.

The innocence is sweet
may racism and discrimination end in all its forms

Women will rule OK in Chinese tourist town
Published: 27 April 2007

Men had better watch their step in Chongqing. If they don't obey their wives' or girlfriends' orders, and satisfy their every whim, they can expect to hear the crack of the whip and must cower as punishment without mercy is meted out.

The city of Chongqing in south-west China - the world's biggest city by some estimates with 32 million people - is planning to build a town dedicated to women in its Shuangqiao district.

The municipal motto is "Women are never wrong" and the project will be modelled on a town depicted in one of China's most famous literary masterpieces, The Monkey King. Authorities hope it will bring in tourists keen for a bit of role reversal.

At the gate leading into the town, men will be greeted with a slogan saying: "Women are never wrong; men can never refuse their needs." Any male foolish enough to debate this point can be punished by kneeling on a hard board or being forced to do the washing up in a local restaurant.

There will be special courts set up, with judges who can order male tourists to be whipped if they fail to fulfil their partner's wishes for chocolate, or perfume, or anything at all. No cat-of-nine-tails this whip, however - it is specially made and described as being "soft" so it won't hurt the transgressors too much.

Shuangqiao suffers from having little to recommend it as a tourist hot spot, except for the local custom where men work in the coal mine and hand over all their wages to wives, who tend farms, perform household chores and "maintain complete control over their husbands", according to local media.

Some bright spark at the local government thought this way of life could be a way of attracting tourists. City fathers, and presumably city mothers, put their heads together and came up with the idea of a modern-day matriarchy. The local government has approved the project and the town is expected to be fully built in two years.

Tong Jiuying, who is currently a member of the local government, will be appointed the head of the village, though it was not clear whether that gives her the authority to wield the whip against errant males.

Many visitors come to visit the Dazhu Stone Carvings, a World Cultural Heritage site not far from Shuangqiao, and she said she hoped to lure the tourists to come to "Women's Town" and enjoy what she called "feminine games". Li Ji, a local tourism official, insisted that "Women's Town" was being built "only for recreational purposes" and was not intended to have anything to do with feminism.

However, the delighted reaction to news of the town's construction in the Chinese media shows there is a serious point to be made here about how Chinese women, who make up one eighth of the world's population, are treated.

Women have made great advances under the Communists since 1949, and Mao Zedong once famously said: "Women hold up half the sky." In ancient China, women were routinely discriminated against in a male-dominated society, denied education and had no say in whom they married.

Under the Communists, the binding of feet has been outlawed, women tend to do most of the same jobs as men and are equal in the eyes of the law. However, the traditional preference for boys has led to an alarming rise in the gender imbalance, with 118 boys born for every 100 girls. In Guangdong and Hainan provinces in southern China, the ratio is as high as 130 boys to 100 girls, as wider use of ultrasound tests and easy availability of abortions compounds the problem.

So the return of women's power is to be applauded, even if it's only on the tourist trail. The Chinese are fascinated by the matriarchal Mosuo people in Yunnan province, who practise "walk-in marriages", where male partners are chosen for procreation, and do not live with their wives. (The men merely spend the night and have to leave in the morning. ) The whip-wielding judges of Shuangqiao would approve.

We did it! Mahmedein is now the Int'l VP of Division III!!
Big celebration Saturday night, no sleep of course :P
I am so glad I am home!!
I have starved, been sleep deprived, challenged mentally and physically, and endured the highest levels of stress and tension I have ever experienced in my life. But, I am proud and happy.
All of the Missouri region is so proud of Mahmedein, although I was told that he should have ran for President by way to many people.

ideas of a major change are hovering in sight :P

Well, my candidate is a finalist!!!
one more round of campaigning tomorrow then his speech!!
Woot! I am soooo excited for him!!
crossing my fingers for the next
International Vice President for Phi Theta Kappa Division III
wish us luck!!

Ok I am just going to put it out there.
Gil and I were talking last night about all sorts of things and I said something of the sort that I am bisexual. He said, "you are?"
And now granted he did know that I had a girlfriend a long time ago, and I know for a fact that I comment and admire women all the time. Maybe I never said the words, "I am bisexual."
But, wouldn't that just have implied that I was? A long time ago? 3 years atleast.
So, he asked me if I needed to sleep with a women or two and get it out of my system? I was like, WHAT?!!?!! Maybe I was just so shocked about what he had said that I couldn't discuss it with him anymore. But we did a little anyway.
I am not quite sure what kind of person he thinks I am, but it must be close to a lusty girl who wants total girl on girl action morning, noon, and night.
While, the idea of it is extremely hot and tempting. I am in a relationship with him and plan to be till we are Old & Wrinkly :P I always imagine us "dibbling" in the girlfriend scene when I have an empty nest.
But not now. Was he projecting something he wants to do onto me?
I wouldn't think so, we have already been so close down that road, and he was the one who stopped it.
I am still not sure how I am evaluating or rationalizing this conversation.
Maybe I am lusty like that quiz said. LOL A woman in the peak of her sexual drive can't help that her Estrogen levels are high during certain times of the month and people come around sniffing. A little arrogant of a statement, but truthful.
When is a man's sexual peak? 28 or so? Does 9 years make that much of a difference in a man and a woman's libido? He said his slows down every so often. Ok fine w/ me. I get to enjoy the break :P But, if it goes to long sure, I am a fool for it. But, I have no desire and/or motivation to look anywhere else for a piece of ass. I am trying to build relationship with myself, family, and other people, not sleep with St. Louis. LOL that was 3 years ago. Now I am taking on the world :P

How about these for Spring pics?

In some crazy part of my mind about a week and a half ago I decided to start training for a 5K in August. However before I can start seriously training I have to do a bit of pre-training 1st. I need to be able to run 1.5 miles comfortably. Well, I can only run a mile comfortably, so Nathan the trainer at the Y said he will get me to 1.5mi. in 2 weeks. He also said that I am shortchanging my body because by August I could do a 10K. For beginners, essentially I am a beginner again since I haven't ran in atleast 4 years. Anyway, after the original 1.5mi., it takes 6-8 weeks to train for a 5K then after that it takes 6-8 weeks to train for a 10K. I believe there is 22 weeks until mid-August, so the time does add up.
I think I am just to nervous to jump in and do a 10K before a 5K. There are a few 5K's in July that I could do to test my distance and speed. Maybe I will feel more comfortable in August doing a 10K then?

My smoking habit is dwindling away as each day passes. As my body gets stronger I am liking the taste less and less, and who likes running and feeling like their chest is going to explode anyway? Strengthen the body, Strengthen the mind? I don't know, but it seems to be working.

In the meantime, I am doing alot of strength training, I didn't realize how important upper body strength is needed to run, but correct posture is the key to lasting in a run. More energy is used when you have bad posture, and takes the power away from your arms and legs. I refuse to check my weight still, maybe because I don't care what it is yet. I am using my favorite jeans to gauge my body's progress. I did have an exercise test done when I started working out about 2 months ago, so atleast I know where I started. All I know is that my belt is getting tighter and tighter, and the jeans are starting to bulge w/ air. SO NOT HOT!

I have, for the most part, been a healthy eater. I love all fruits and veggies (few I dislike, but am learning to swallow them quickly) but I am finding that I want to eat alot more. So I have upped my carb intake and am eating more mini meals during the day. So far that seems to be working alot. It's hard changing bad habits into good ones. But, it is fun trying.

1.5 here I come!

I can finally show pics of my family! hope they work :P

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=8174&l=82d73&id=862085580

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=9947&l=2b7f4&id=862085580

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=8253&l=3d306&id=862085580

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=9767&l=1dfa2&id=862085580